Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Episode 33: Happy New Year (Clean version)

I edited out words that could potentially be considered naughty in case a website more wholesome wants to link to this episode.  If you're looking for words like

  • F*ck,
  • B*tch,
  • D*mn,
  • T*ol,
  • B*lls,
  • T*tties,
  • *ss,
  • C*cks,
  • and B*ll-suckling R*ctal Scum,

you should listen to the unedited episode which contains those words and others that would get you kicked off of PBS.

New Year greetings from Katie and Reed with:

Music:  Happy New Year (ABBA Around the Piano) - ABBA;  Auld Lang Syne - Starlight No Chaser;  What Are You Doing New Years - Harry Connick, Jr.;  Linus & Lucy - Vince Guaraldi;  Auld Lang Syne - Aretha Franklin and Billy Preston

A special thanks to everyone who took a minute or two of their time to be on this episode.  I was amazed at the generosity of everyone involved!  Thanks, everyone, for making this the best TSHF episode ever!

[Direct Link]

Episode 33: Happy New Year (This one has dirty words.)

New Year greetings from Katie and Reed with:

Music:  Happy New Year (ABBA Around the Piano) - ABBA;  Auld Lang Syne - Starlight No Chaser;  What Are You Doing New Years - Harry Connick, Jr.;  Linus & Lucy - Vince Guaraldi;  Auld Lang Syne - Aretha Franklin and Billy Preston

A special thanks to everyone who took a minute or two of their time to be on this episode.  I was amazed at the generosity of everyone involved!  Thanks, everyone, for making this the best TSHF episode ever!

[Direct Link]

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Calling all Skype Users

Anyone who 1) reads Homosecular Gaytheist or listens to Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers, 2) has Skype and 3) wants to wish The Listener a happy new year on the Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers podcast, send me a PM on Skype (handle: reedbraden) and I'll record your greeting.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Here's a special episode of the Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers Podcast to brighten your Christmas eve.

[Direct Link]

Monday, December 1, 2008

Episode 29: Inappropriate Dinner Conversation

I posted this to my blog, not my podcast.  It originally aired on Saturday, 29 December at 4:00 AM EST.  Sorry for the fuck up.

WARNING! Those prone to discomfort during conversations about abortion should not listen to this episode... or have dinner with Reed.  In fact, never have dinner with Reed, ever, no matter what.

Katie is away with Family this weekend, so Caroline is filling in for her tonight.  Katie will be back early next week and we'll put out an early episode then.

Much thanks to the Audacity Recovery Utility.  The developer of this utility can show up at my apartment at any time to claim his free "You Saved My Life Blowjob".  I'm going to pull out my hair and get some sleep now.  Six hours is far too long to fuck with a 24-minute episode.

[Direct Link]

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Busy Life of a TSHF Episode

In case you are interested in podcasting, here's the process we use to deliver weekly shows to you, the Listener:

First, Katie and I spew crazy shit from our mouths that is captured by our Samson C01U USB Studio Condenser Mic ($169 retail price) and I diddle with it in Audacity (Free), save it as a WAV file, and run it through The Levelator (Free) to give the episode an even, consistent volume. The last thing I do before uploading the file to the interwebnets is convert it to an MP3 format (68 kbit/sec on longer episodes, 96 kbit/sec on shorter episodes, to keep file size down).

Then, I host the finished audio file at Liberated Syndication ($5-50 per month, I opt for $10), post the file link and some text commentary on Blogger (Free), and it's all delivered to your iTunes or Zune--or whatever else you listen to podcasts with--in a neat, encapsulated form by Feedburner (Free).

The podcast is then played by you, the Listener, while you're jogging, eating, fishing, masturbating or punching homeless people in the face. Sometimes, it's burned to a CD and played quietly in the background to keep pets and senile grandparents from getting lonely when their family leaves the house.

But that's not the last step of the process! Finally, the Listener, sends Katie and me messages through Facebook or our email address or leaves comments on so we can interact with the listener and incorporate their feedback into the show.

Also, here's a handy money saving tip, because I love you, Listener:

Since the MP3 format is a lossy format, but it is the most compact and acceptable format to reach a wide variety of listeners, you don't need a huge, expensive microphone to do the trick. I use my microphone for recording music in lossless formats, so I shelled out extra money for extra quality. By the time I convert a podcast file to an MP3 format, a simple $5 headset mic from the bargain bin in Wal-Mart sounds almost exactly the same as my high-quality Samson condenser. Don't shell out $170 for a computer microphone if you don't need it. Your listeners won't be able to hear the difference.

It took us almost a year of trial-and-error and lots of help from our dear friend Jake at Just Not Right to figure out the best way to transfer gallons of faeces from our mouths to your ears and we're still learning. There are hundreds of ways to do this, so don't be afraid to experiment on your own. Let us know if you start a podcast and we'll definitely start plugging the heck out of you if we like what we hear... and how could we not? You're at Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers already, so you obviously have good taste!

- Reed

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Episode 28: The Happiest Episode Ever

Maybe it's not the happiest ever, but it's certainly pretty damn happy.

Song: Vaginae, Vomit and "FUCK YOUUUU!!!" by Katie Mitchell and Reed Braden

[Direct Link]

Monday, November 3, 2008


You're all amazing individuals and I love each one of you better than I love my own mother.

[Direct Link]

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Episode 26: Blame the Economy

You can still hear from Reed and Katie at and

Keep us on your subscription list... we might come back.

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long farewell, auf weidersehen adieu
Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you
So long farewell, au revior auf weidersehen
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne

[direct link]

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Episode 25: At The Roanoke Star


Earth vs. Space

Congratulations Natalie Dee and Drew Toothpaste on your beautiful new bipedal mammal!

[direct link]

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Episode 24: Special Guest Jake Cordova and Cannibal Babies (Levelated)

Just Not Right

Jake's Blog

Katie's Blog

The Bodies Exhibit

[Direct Link]

Thanks to Jake for joining me!

Also...I am not the computer genius Reed is and have never published this on my own if something is not right then let me know! MMMMMMMMMM K THHHHAAANKKKS. :-)

Levels fixed with The Levelator.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Episode 23: Hodge Podge

Just Not Right

Atheist Revolution

Era Guitars (Nick's business)

Questions for the listener:

  • How would you define legendary cock?
  • What should Katie and Caroline dress as for Halloween?
  • Where are you from?
  • How are you?
  • Normal view. Normal view. Normal vieeeeew?

Mucous Grecians to Nick and Caroline

[direct link]

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Episode 22Pi

Just a short mini-episode crammed with music at the end.


[direct link]

Friday, September 19, 2008

Episode 22: Meat Lovers' Party Bag

Meat Lovers' Party Bag
Party Lover's Meat Bag
Bag Lovers' Meat Party
Lovers' Meat Bag Party
They're all terrible. There's no good combination of these words.

Enjoy the lulz here.

[direct link]

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Episode 21 - Church of Science, LHC, and Bitches Can't Hang With The Chamber Orchestra

If you're in the area, come join us each Thursday from 7:30 PM until Sleep at 460 West (on 460 East, Orange Avenue, across from Denny's) for Karaoke and fun times.

Katie's Letter to the Editor.

[Direct Link]

Monday, September 1, 2008

Episode 20? - Woman, why do you hate women?

Episode 19 will be aired between episodes 25 and 30 for no reason whatsoever.  Your mom's box.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Episode 18: Real Men Really Love Jesus


Let's spoon.

Episode 17: Purple Rain

Episode 16 didn't go through on iTunes for some reason.  It works if you download it straight from the site here:  You can also switch to Zune, better software for a better mp3 player.

Katie's Thesis blog:


[direct link]

I made an erroneous claim that some bass-voiced black kid performed a YouTube cover of Purple Rain.  It was actually the kid's own composition, Chocolate Rain.  My bad.  It's still hilarious.  Watch!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Episode 14: Ghosts, Psychics, Wafers and Paul Lynde Rape Bugs... Wakka Wakka Wakka

Weeeee're baaaaack!

I apologise for the occasional audio fuzziness.  We recorded this episode on a Mac.  :-(

Daniel L. Crandall

Daniel L. Crandall:  You can not escape him.

[direct link]

Sunday, June 29, 2008

TSHF Podcast: Independence Day Special, 4:30 PM Sunday

Tomorrow (today, technically) at 4:30 PM EDT (8:30PM GMT, 1:30PM PDT), tune in for the live video broadcast of Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers Podcast.

We'll be talking about several issues that are even MORE American than apple pie! You heard me! MORE AMERICAN THAN APPLE PIE AND CAPS LOCK ON THE INTARWEBZ!!!1!

Tune in on the uStream page before 4:30 PM EDT to watch Katie and I in action! You can even interact with the show via a convenient chat room on the page!!!! ZOMGLES!!!

The video is ONLY available to those who watch live. If you download it later as part of the podcast, you will only get the audio... and as we saw last week, that's never guaranteed not to suck.

Do it!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers at 4:30 EDT Sunday

Everyone knows that Atheists and others of the unchurched sleep in until 4PM on Sundays.  It's the only way to truly avoid the crowd of bluehairs on the road driving from church to the cafeteria.  There's no better way to wake up in the afternoon than to tune in live for a new episode of Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers Podcast!  (Except for maybe a blowjob by Rose McGowan.)

Tune in to our uStream channel before 4:30 PM EDT (8:30PM GMT, 1:30PM PDT) for the second live episode of Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers!


Monday, June 23, 2008

Episode 11: Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers LIVE! (or: Reed fucks up again.)

Episodes of Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers will be aired live on uStream at  Also, and I'm not promising anything for sure, we're going to try and churn out a new episode every Sunday.

Contact us at

[direct link]

Are there any black American atheists out there who have studied the roles of faith and secularism/freethought in the Civil Rights Movement?  Contact me at and let me know if you would be willing to join us for an episode of Two Smokin' Hot Freethinkers later this Summer.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

We Haven't Forgotten You!

The song is ScientLOLogy by some Anonymous person out there in the interwebnets.

[direct link]

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Episode 10: "Losing My Religion"

Substitute host Sam


Hell is Boring, Chris Shepard

Toccata in D Minor Op. 11, Sergei Prokofiev - The death metal of 20th century Russian piano compositions

[direct link]

Friday, May 2, 2008

Episode 9: Braaaaaiiiiiiiiinsssss

I decided to do an episode on zombes before I checked my RSS feeds and I just found out that Ebonmuse over at Daylight Atheism wrote an article entitled "Dawn of the Dead: Are Zombies Possible?" Fantastic... Now I'm old news.

And apparently only one person was not offended last week: Maggie of Utah. Fuck you, Maggie of Utah.

[direct link]

Friday, April 18, 2008

Episode 8: Kickin' it With Cliff

Fun times on the porch with our Christian friend Cliff.

*** Views expressed by Cliff are not necessarily the views of Young Life, it's parents/subsidiaries (if any), or anyone else, for that matter. ***

*** Views expressed by Reed are often only the views of Reed and are potentially offensive to people and animals and occasionally inanimate objects, this includes, but is not limited to, all people and groups of people, living and dead, as well as Reed. ***

Email me at if you are not offended by this episode. Please include information on how to offend you.

Here's the transcript of the Rep. Monique Davis remarks:

Davis: I don’t know what you have against God, but some of us don’t have much against him. We look forward to him and his blessings. And it’s really a tragedy — it’s tragic — when a person who is engaged in anything related to God, they want to fight. They want to fight prayer in school. I don’t see you (Sherman) fighting guns in school. You know?I’m trying to understand the philosophy that you want to spread in the state of Illinois. This is the Land of Lincoln. This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God, where people believe in protecting their children.… What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous, it’s dangerous–

Sherman: What’s dangerous, ma’am?

Davis: It’s dangerous to the progression of this state. And it’s dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists! Now you will go to court to fight kids to have the opportunity to be quiet for a minute. But damn if you’ll go to [court] to fight for them to keep guns out of their hands. I am fed up! Get out of that seat!

Sherman: Thank you for sharing your perspective with me, and I’m sure that if this matter does go to court—

Davis: You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon.

[direct link]

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Whaddya Know! This Really IS Episode Seven! (Reed's Emo Week and Katie's Happy News)

Inanity warning: This is a vulgar and inane episode of TSHF. Please don't listen to it. The next one will be exponentially better. We promise!

[direct link]

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Chatting With Bob Price

Danny Schade and Robert M. Price had a conversation last week about the resurrection narrative. Reed listened and added a few bits, but mostly he sat slack-jawed in wonder of Bob's incredible depth of knowledge.

The Reason Driven Podcast - Easter Special: Chatting With Bob

Friday, March 14, 2008

Episode Six: Sleep Deprivation Time With Reed, Brought To You By Katie

HEY!  Everyone!  Go visit!!!

[video] "Every rose... has its thorns."


By the way, happy 100th episode, Jake and Erin!!!  Check out Just Not Right Podcast... link's in the left column.

[video]  Fucking Ben Affleck

[direct link]

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Episode Five: Intelligent Design, Paul McCartney, Chocolate, and a Bunch of Other Stuff That Doesn't Really Fit the Theme. Wow, This is a Long Title!


Scathing review of Expelled:

The Orange Man:

Ray Comfort's banana:

Bacterial flagellum:
Chapter 8:

"cdesign proponentsists":
Chapter 10:

Paul is dead:

Shirley Q. Liquor:

And apparently Michelle Pfeiffer was not on the Wonder Years, but there was a Pfeiffer family on the show. Screw you and your dumb facts.

[Direct link]

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Preview of Coming Attractions

Talking about Intelligent Design on Thursday.

Here's the trailer for Expelled... don't listen too closely or you might destroy your IQ.

[direct link]

Friday, February 15, 2008

Episode Four: Politics, McCain's Neck and Boxing With Jesus

Special guests: Boyfriend Alex and Barry White

McCain's Neck on Jeffrey Rowland's blog: What The Hell Is That?

We're terribly sorry to Ron Paul fans (especially Jake Cordova) who Reed called idiots.

Two ways to make this podcast interactive:
  • When Reed calls for sappy music, hum your own damn sappy music!
  • Listener question: How long do you think John McCain has left to live?

[direct link]

Edit: Did I really say "Hillary Rodman Clinton?" Oops.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Episode Three: Is Religion Child Abuse?

Special guest host Becka joins Reed to discuss different aspects of religion that may be seen as child abuse.

[Direct link]

Polyschizmatic Reprobates Hour:
Apologia Podcast:
PDF, Crimes of the Community: Honour-Based Violence in the UK:

The Jill Mytton interview begins after 16 minutes:

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Later This Week: Is Religion Child Abuse?

The first episode of the month is late. Terribly sorry. It'll be up this week sometime. Here's something to tide you over and ease you into this week's theme.

[direct link]

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Reed on Apologia Podcast

Last night, I participated in a discussion on homosexuality on the podcast Apologia. The episode is not posted at the time of this writing, but keep your eyes peeled for it and listen to some of the other episodes while you're there.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Episode Two - Reed is a fucking idiot.

Episode two is up now!

[direct link]

Mentioned in the podcast:

40 Days of Prayer:
Clone Appetit:
Scientists make human embryo clone:
The Dilbert Blog: Good Eatin':
Dinesh D'Souza: Winner of the 2007 Bad Faith Award:

Monday, January 7, 2008

Live on Skype!

We're going to try out a new concept and let our audience hear us live as we record our podcast. If you want to hear Reed and Tigerlily live, raw and unedited, add me on Skype (search for Reed Braden) and I will invite you to hear the new podcast recorded on Friday afternoons.

We will record around 12:30 PM EST on the first and third Fridays of each month.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Ep.1 Edit

I have edited four minutes out of the podcast and replaced them with something less annoying. The file link is the same and your podcast handler should replace the file next time you refresh the podcast.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Episode One!!!!!!!!

First episode!

(okay... really... this one works now)

[direct link]